On a sunny afternoon,
a 17-year-old me got a phone call. It was my partner in crime and frequent skinny dipping companion Bethany. We had just
finished high school, scooping most of the top academic prizes between us
despite not being model students and enjoying the occasional party each weekend.
So when I heard
Bethany’s breathless voice on the other end of that phone call, I expected a
recount of weekend exploits or something about exam results.
“I’ve just had a phone
call from America…I got that scholarship, Andrea I’m going to spend a year at
the University at Idaho!”
I remember being so
excited and thinking what a perfect opportunity this was for my high school best
friend. She told me about the previous winners, and how a few had stayed in the
States to finish their studies, pursue careers and marry American men. We
laughed hysterically at the notion – imagine Bethany ever getting married, let
alone to an American! No way, she would have an amazing year and come back to
tell me all about it.
Fast-forward three and
a half years. We are sitting in Melanie and Guy’s beautiful house overlooking
Wellington Harbour, temporary home to Bethany and her lovely husband James
while she has her treatment.
The last time I saw
Bethany was in January last year, when I visited her in Idaho and stayed in her
jungle apartment. After a day in Moscow and a tour of the university I could instantly
see why she stayed, and after meeting James I was not altogether surprised when
she told me they were getting married. We talked about master’s degrees and
travel plans, American culture and New Zealand politics, skydiving and research
projects. We drank wine and danced around her apartment, celebrating this
friendship that had stretched around the world and back.
This time, we talk
about cancer. We talk about IVF, radiation,
chemotherapy, brain surgery and that red arc of a scar showing through her
short hair. We talk about marriage and kids and having to make life-changing
decisions, and about the best superfoods to combat brain tumours. Bethany
figures she may as well try to be as healthy as possible so we’ve been doing
lots of walking, enjoying the rare Wellington sun, and making super-charged
juice with vegies from the local market. We’ve been taking photos before her
hair starts to fall out.
Last night we sat on
the couch with a glass of wine and watched her favourite TV show, Offspring. We
gossiped about our old friends from high school who never really grew up, and
how much things have changed for us both in the last couple of years.
It’s funny looking
back to those teenage years and how we thought we had life all figured out. All
the problems we helped each other through over the years seem somewhat trivial
in the face of our biggest challenge yet. It’s been hard to see my dear friend
go through all this and it’s going to be even worse as she starts feeling the
effects of an aggressive course of treatments. I know she misses her life in
America but I’m glad that for now, it’s only a 45-minute flight for me to come
and visit from Christchurch.
So to reassure
everyone reading this from places far away, I can tell you that your B is doing
everything humanly possible to beat this tumour. She might be losing her hair
but her eyes still have that slightly mischievous twinkle, and her keen eye for
a cute thrift shop dress remains.
In typical Bethany
style, last night she looked me straight in the eye and said “I think it’s
going to be fine”. And as always, I believe her.
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