January 9, 2013 | Honesty

In a way being in New Zealand has been more stressful, as I’ve allowed myself the time to embark on the mountains of research out there about all things cancer, in books and online. Cancer-kicking eating suggestions (many being contradictory) hang in the air at mealtimes.  

The plethora of information out there is overwhelming, and I've felt torn this way and that.

How to heal a tumour

Apricot kernels and apple pips? (my brother)  Meditation and positive affirmations (naturopathic gurus)
Dousing myself with Vitamin C? (a popular book)
Prayer? (some friends and family)
Starvation? (many cancer diets advocate for it, starving the cancer of food, sounds horrible to me!)
Cut, burn and poison, no need to do anything else? (Medical doctors) Dousing myself with Vitamin C? (a popular book) Prayer? (some friends and family)  Starvation? (many cancer diets advocate for it, starving the cancer of food, sounds horrible to me!) Cut, burn and poison, no need to do anything else? (Medical doctors)

I'm overwhelmed by the flood of positivity and rainbows, doom and gloom of the cancer market (yes, I choose to call it a market). Yet, despite this maze of theories and opinions, I know there is a lot I can do myself in this battle. I do think that current medical doctors have a long way to go to come to a holistic understanding of the workings and healing possibilities of disease. 

Yesterday I received a wonderful and well-meaning email from a neighbour linking to the blog of a young Australian woman diagnosed with incurable cancer four years ago, beat the odds, and made a bunch of money off selling her story. Now, call me a cynic but it saddens me to see people making a living off this devastating illness and charging $579 for a ‘diet and wellness guide’ for people that live in fear of it. 

With a whole lot of radiation and chemotherapy creeping up, it's hard to feel inspired by all the success stories, the people who got through it with a smile never losing their face. There has to be people out there who want to hear from those who are struggling and brutally honest about their day-to-day battles. The sunshine, puppies and rainbows are great (good on them!) but they don’t make you feel like you are relating, human being to human being, with these miraculous survivors. Will I ever even have the option to be one of the lucky group beaming from book covers, magazines and blogs? How would it feel to be terminally ill and faced with all this? (I already consider myself a survivor).

If only the vocal cancer survivors would be more honest about the experience. Yes, it may transform your life… later. But it sucks and there is no getting around that.

Of course, these miracle survivors had their downtimes, times of pain and darkness. And of course it's okay to wait until better times to record feelings and the journey. But then there seems to be an understandable tendency to brush over the hard times. 

And so, in the unfortunate case that anyone else finds themselves in a similar situation, It’s my aim to be absolutely honest during this whole messy thing. Our vulnerabilities allow us to share in our common humanity, and plus, you’re probably not reading this because you are need of another super-green-juice diet blog from me, or a collection of inspirational quotes with seascapes in the background.