November 29, 2012 | New Growth

When I first met James he was writing a children's book. "New Growth" he planned to call it.

A seed was sprouting in the ground, growing through layers of forest in order to reach the sun. At each stage of his growth, the seed became friends with and came to know the creatures of the forest at that level - the leaves, the slugs, the ground dwellers, the vines and lizards. He became comfortable.

Yet as the rains continued to fall and the sun continued to shine above, a voice deep within his fibers told him he must keep growing. The tune, "I love you so, you gotta know, but you gotta know, it's time to grow," reverberated through the storms.

And so each time, he would have to leave his dear friends, his realm of comfort. Of course, they would still be there, and although growth would mean entering into the unknown, the seed had to trust that there was more to see, more to learn, further places to grow.

And with that summary, we welcome the newest growth in my life:

This growth sits in my right frontal lobe. Neurologists and Radiologists discovered it with a degree of certainty just yesterday. To say the least, the journey over the last couple of weeks to get to this point has been tumultuous and painful, and perhaps I will tell that story later.

But now, as we embark on the journey to kick this tumors ass, I want to write about growth. Because never before have I been so on my knees to the gift of life, so determined to live, and so grateful for the friends and family that are the essence of life. Once a cynic of love, I now live for it. And I so deeply want to laern from this experience, to transform it into something positive.

One of our favorite professors is a cancer survivor, and he often speaks of 'head knowledge' and 'heart knowledge'. There is no denying my life lies in the hands of medical professionals, whose practice has years and years and the dedicated research of millions backing it. Yet there is also no denying the knowledge of the heart that heals. Both can be powerful tools in this fight.

I may not have specific religious practices or herbal concoctions (sorry Aden, maybe I'll get around to those), yet I do believe that with love and a positive desire to live, the force of the heart and mind is equally as powerful as any treatment.

I can't thank everyone enough for the overwhelming support of friends and family. I'm so sorry I haven't been able to reply to everyone, but please do know that you are all in my heart and I am absolutely humbled.

A few others may also post - everyone is welcome to, just send me a message. And I'll keep you posted on this growth in the head (yes, literally and figuratively) and of the heart.