The Search Begins

Silence encloses me as I lie down to write this. I’ve been putting it off for a while, mulling it over in my wondering mind. I’ve been digging deep into my past recently, beyond simply recollecting my time in Togo, other things, other aspects of my story. 

Since experiencing an initial overwhelming inundation of all things ‘cancer’, I told myself I would wait; I’d just wait until this is all over, and then I would look into it.

Then I would read the books, then I would watch the videos, then I would try figure out why on earth this damn thing got here

…but not now. Now, I’ll just get through treatment and try to live a normal life.

Who was I kidding? Of course I need to find out, and of course I am going to look into it. Someone needs to, and treatment or no treatment, I’m ready to take up the challenge.

“It’s not environmental, it’s not genetic, it’s not lifestyle-related” is all doctors have told me. Previously I thought that those in the medical profession were simply being cautious in not wanting to wonder why I would suddenly, out of the blue, have a tumour growing in my brain. 

However the more I look into things, the more I am beginning to see that doctors are conveniently ignoring important studies and evidence that have been around for years and years. Scholars in the fields of mind/body research, psychotherapy and psycho-neuro-immunology (PNI) among others have produced copious studies with strong evidence toward a psychological-physical relationship from before the beginning of Western medicine. 

However beyond the founding work of Bernard (1865), Solomon (1964), Ader and Cohen (1975) and many others, various cultures and belief systems throughout the world have developed their own viewpoints regarding the onset of disease.

Is there a reason these beliefs and studies have so much evidence and so many adherents, or are these simply mystical lies trying to debunk the medical system?

My gran has always been wise, extremely sensible and thoughtful. She is a devout Christian, and yet yesterday, when I discussed with her the link between stress and physical ailment she wasn’t at all surprised. In her seventy-four years of experiencing it, she knowingly agrees. 

It’s something we all know, really. We are highly stressed for a period of time and, unsurprisingly, we get a cold. We feel angry and tense about something and get an expected sore back. We are suddenly afraid and so our heart pumps faster...but that's all common sense, right?

So why do we stop this train of thought at the simple common cold?

Today I embark on a research project. To research my own cancer. I’ll be asking far more questions than finding answers, and it may be frustrating, scary or time-consuming, but I have to do it. I have to do it for myself, for everyone in cancer wards throughout the world, and for everyone who is affected by or will be affected by cancer.

Visit brainbuzz.org to see what I get up to!