I survived!

I woke this morning before our alarm. I could feel energy pulsing through my veins. Is this what it’s like to feel normal again?

You may or may not have noticed that in my last post talking about chemo I had changed it all to past tense.

That’s right – I’M FINISHED!!!

Just this week Dr Hamilton, my oncologist, decided that three cycles of PCV is enough, and that any more chemo would mean the costs (long term and permanent side effects) would outweigh the potential benefits of continuing (more possible poisoning of potential cancer cells - all quite vague really).

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At the beginning of chemo, when I heard there was a maximum of six cycles, I was pumped to do all six. “Give me all you’ve got,” I told Dr Hamilton.

Easy for someone to say when they are feeling fine, huh?

It should take a few months, they say, for me to return to the lower-end-of-average energy levels and platelet levels (bruising etc), and the tingling fingers and aching jaw should subside a little within six but will likely never come fully right. But as for dizziness, headaches and vomiting through the night – I said goodbye to them as I walked out of Dr Hamilton’s office the other day.

Not to mention, the pills and IV injections and all that poison…it’s all over. It really makes me realise what a privilege it is to be able to nourish my body and not poison it.

***

And no longer can I say “I have a brain tumour,” “I have cancer,” or even “I’m having treatment,” – what does that make me now? It feels a little strange to no longer be any of these, even though it’s all gone so fast. A survivor, perhaps? Although I have a suspicion I’ll need to reach a two-year or five-year mark before I can join that club.

Oh, what the heck. I’m a survivor.