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Monday, June 22, 2015

January 26, 2013 | A Weekend Visitor: Andrea



On a sunny afternoon, a 17-year-old me got a phone call. It was my partner in crime and frequent skinny dipping companion Bethany. We had just finished high school, scooping most of the top academic prizes between us despite not being model students and enjoying the occasional party each weekend. 

So when I heard Bethany’s breathless voice on the other end of that phone call, I expected a recount of weekend exploits or something about exam results.

“I’ve just had a phone call from America…I got that scholarship, Andrea I’m going to spend a year at the University at Idaho!”

I remember being so excited and thinking what a perfect opportunity this was for my high school best friend. She told me about the previous winners, and how a few had stayed in the States to finish their studies, pursue careers and marry American men. We laughed hysterically at the notion – imagine Bethany ever getting married, let alone to an American! No way, she would have an amazing year and come back to tell me all about it.

Fast-forward three and a half years. We are sitting in Melanie and Guy’s beautiful house overlooking Wellington Harbour, temporary home to Bethany and her lovely husband James while she has her treatment.

The last time I saw Bethany was in January last year, when I visited her in Idaho and stayed in her jungle apartment. After a day in Moscow and a tour of the university I could instantly see why she stayed, and after meeting James I was not altogether surprised when she told me they were getting married. We talked about master’s degrees and travel plans, American culture and New Zealand politics, skydiving and research projects. We drank wine and danced around her apartment, celebrating this friendship that had stretched around the world and back.

This time, we talk about cancer.  We talk about IVF, radiation, chemotherapy, brain surgery and that red arc of a scar showing through her short hair. We talk about marriage and kids and having to make life-changing decisions, and about the best superfoods to combat brain tumours. Bethany figures she may as well try to be as healthy as possible so we’ve been doing lots of walking, enjoying the rare Wellington sun, and making super-charged juice with vegies from the local market. We’ve been taking photos before her hair starts to fall out.

Last night we sat on the couch with a glass of wine and watched her favourite TV show, Offspring. We gossiped about our old friends from high school who never really grew up, and how much things have changed for us both in the last couple of years. 

It’s funny looking back to those teenage years and how we thought we had life all figured out. All the problems we helped each other through over the years seem somewhat trivial in the face of our biggest challenge yet. It’s been hard to see my dear friend go through all this and it’s going to be even worse as she starts feeling the effects of an aggressive course of treatments. I know she misses her life in America but I’m glad that for now, it’s only a 45-minute flight for me to come and visit from Christchurch.

So to reassure everyone reading this from places far away, I can tell you that your B is doing everything humanly possible to beat this tumour. She might be losing her hair but her eyes still have that slightly mischievous twinkle, and her keen eye for a cute thrift shop dress remains.

In typical Bethany style, last night she looked me straight in the eye and said “I think it’s going to be fine”. And as always, I believe her.

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